Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Being the Captain of my own ship

When I decided to start writing a blog about the life of an artist, I committed to write a post every week and to be honest with every single thing I say.
As a young child, I was always very independent and self-driven and of course, very creative. It was clear that my life would be built around art and design. I paid attention to every single detail, loved nice and cute things, collected Hallmark’s letterheads and stickers (I kept them with me till today). I also developed a great sense of fashion, mostly wearing unique dresses and long skirts.
 I once read a book about past lives and in every chapter there were exercises teaching you how to discover who you were or where you could have possible lived in your past lives. Most of the exercises taught  how to pay attention to our childhood and what we enjoyed playing with. It also taught how to figure out possible places we lived in and foods we used to like. That book fascinated me. I am not trained to understand such thing as past lives, but with only looking at my close and vivid childhood, it is obvious to me that I was born to be the Captain of my ship. Luckily I had a young brother to boss around and practice how to become a Captain!
As time went by, I found myself making decisions and steering my ship to places, people and experiences that shaped my personality and my journey. As an adult, I have chosen to live fully as an artist, a decision that comes with many challenges on the way. In a society where Art is undervalued and over flooded, making it as an artist is almost impossible.
When times gets challenging, I help myself by practicing meditation, practicing visualization and finding the right affirmations to read and read all over. It is not always easy and clear, but I think that having these tools definitely add wisdom and self-direction to my everyday life.
But what happens when dreams don’t go the way we wanted to? What happens when life has other plans for us? Lately, I had to face the fact that a dream was not going the way I wanted it to go. A control-freak of a person like me that is the Captain of her own ship, the outcome of such thing is devastating. In my dream, I went to a beautiful place, a colorful, exotic place filled with sunshine and rainbows, filled with a vast blue ocean and the sounds of crickets. It was a place where you got easily drunk from the smell of the flowers. A place where I dreamed I could paint in a studio filled with natural light. A place where I dreamed I could fully become a sustainable artist. Last week a door to that dream closed and with this outcome I felt sorrow and confusion. Luckily I have been steering the wheel of my ship long enough. When a Captain sees stormy waters, the Captain has to make decisions. It has been a long time planning and inquiring into the route that will take me to my dream. This is a good reminder that ships are safe in harbor but that’s not what ships are for. To reach the next port, we must set sail!
"The stories you believe to be true are the ones your life will become" with love, Jazmin
Visit my website at Jazmin Sasky

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